the love of our fathers

It’s been quite a while since I’ve posted. I’ve become somewhat of a recluse lately. Ever since the death of my grandfather my whole life has been put under a new light; a whole different perspective. I’ve begun to realize that life isn’t what it had seemed for 20 some years. It’s a cold, harsh existence most of the time and it will spare no one. I’m still unsure of what to make of all this. I’ve several experiences since this past January that have led me to believe that maybe there is something after this body dies…but I’m still struggling with that one.

I’ll post again later, with more details when I feel like talking more on the subject.

mockingbird

This is the first post in a while, and there’s a good reason behind it. I lost my grandfather due to a heart attack. He lived with me since I was born, so that’s some 20-odd years of companionship and I’m taking it quite badly.

That’s all I feel like typing. When I’m feeling better, I’ll post again. My close friends will understand.

I got the whole world, ‘tween my finger and my thumb

I had a miserable experience at the theatre last night. Kerri, Matthew, and I went to see The Day The Earth Stood Still, which for the most part was an amazing movie…except the dumb gaggle of NIGGERS. Now, notice I dropped the N bomb here. I have absolutely nothing against black people, or any race for that matter. Nigger is my term, nondenominational, for idiots.  Only this time, they happened to be black.

They would run around, stand up and talk behind us, and go in and out constantly. One guy finally said what everyone was thinking and the entire theatre burst into applause. Some old, fat, piece of shit told me to stop cursing after I made a very profane, yet positive remark towards the man that said something to them, and needless to say I felt my face getting hot. I told him, make me. He said, “We got kids in here buddy, watch ya mouth boy”. I replied, “Are you my daddy? Fuck off. I’ll say what I want.” And then some dumb nigger in front of me said, (I wasn’t aware of this until the ride home, otherwise I would’ve accepted his affront) “Shit dawg, meet me outsyde dawg I’ll make u shut up yo.” And then got up and left. Another stupid fuck got up and said, “Yo I don needa be hurrin’ dis language yo”, so I said “Then fucking leave already, dumb shit.”

They left, and all the while the two sheriffs behind me never made a sound at my actions.

Anyway…I have found a very offensive site, thanks to 4chan. It’s called “Fundamentalists Say The Darndest Things”, and it pretty much proves that christians are fucking stupid apes. They rag on atheism, agnostics, muslims (they even went far enough to say atheists are another sect of muslims) and generally say anyone that believes differently is wrong. I would elaborate further but…these speak for themselves.

Here’s a little taste:

“Seriously, does anybody ever cry at an Atheist’s funeral?

I mean, since Atheists have no value whatsoever as human
beings (they’re not even human, but only inhuman animals),
since Atheists are nothing but miserable Liars, Cowards
and Murderers, after all, why would anybody in their
right mind weep over the dead rotting corpse, or bone
chips and ashes (that get mixed together with those of
others from the crematory) of a worthless dead Atheist?

And what epitaph do you engrave on an Atheist’s grave
marker? “Here lies the only good Atheist, which is a
dead Atheist”. What else is there say? Nothing at all.
No last words, no last rites, no flowers, no anything.

Every time an Atheist dies, the world is better off as
a result of that dead Atheist being dead, & its damned
God-forsaken soul burning in the fiery pits of Hades.

Which begs another related question, do Atheists cry at
funerals? If so, why? Since Atheists hate God, and they
hate Family, and they hate Country, who are they crying
for? It is true: The only good Atheist is a dead Atheist.”

” A man can have sexual pleasure from a child as young as a baby. However he should not penetrate, sodomising the child is OK. If the man penetrates and damages the child then he should be responsible for her subsistence all her life. This girl, however does not count as one of his four permanent wives. The man will not be eligible to marry the girl’s sister.”

“Me and like-minded Christian students are trying to organize a mock stoning of openly gay students at our campus. We will be using crumpled up gray/brown construction paper to represent rocks, and will recite bible verses in opposition to their sinful nature. We will throw a volley or two of these “rocks” at every Gay person we happen to encounter that day.”

“There are NO exceptions to abortion whatsoever. It is God’s will that the woman was impregnated, and therefore she must birth the child!

“I’m glad to see there were no “abortion is OK if she was raped” replies. If she was in fact raped, she must play the hand that was dealt to her, accept it as God’s Will, and raise the interracial baby as her own.”

Scary, eh? Enjoy, the link is below.

http://www.fstdt.com/fundies/top100.aspx?archive=1

Well, that’s less than ideal.

Wow. It’s been over a month since I posted last. 4Chan, the new Gears of War, the new COD and more recently, Heroes has consumed my life. Mostly I haven’t posted because I just haven’t felt like it. I have become completely addicted to this show; it’s brilliantly written, the acting is great, and the plot is sheer genius. Watch it, from the start, if you’ve never seen it. You’ll thank me.

I’ll be sure to start posting more regularly; not that anyone reads my blathering nonsense anyway. Oh, and by the way, I’d like to introduce you to the newest member of my family, GlaDOS.

Aperture Science!

Playing through Portal again. It’s fun shit, I tell you. Go buy the Orange Box, or as Nick and I call it, Le Boite Orange.

My cast comes off Tuesday, hopefully. This thing is getting quite cumbersome, not to mention smelly. I’ll be able to type better, which will help with my novel. Speaking of which, I’ve hit a writer’s block the size of North America. I can’t think of how exactly to write the next story, mainly because I don’t remember all of it.

But hey, it’ll work itself out, right?

oh, how teh innernets amuze me s0!

I have discovered the greatest website in existence.

http://www.4chan.org

It’s a picture bulletin board thing, fresh off the coattails of Japanese culture that’s invaded the US. Here, you will find everything from video games to fashion, to hardcore porn.

Yeah, porn.

And as I peruse the random boards, I can’t help but find it devilishly hilarious how pathetic and weak the internet is. People make me laugh, and also make me die a little on the inside. People will make time to sit at a completely anonymous website and make outrageous claims such as, “tits or gtfo”, posting “Mind-fuck” posters and trolling for..well, tits, all while Rick-Rolling anyone they can.

With the anonymity of the internet, you are granted an infinite power. Fat, sweaty, overzealous sex addicts are now granted the +5 ability of being a jackass. Seriously, check it out.

This is the country we live in today. It’s a bit scary.

i try to hold myself together, fighting off this mental weather

I’ve decided to no longer write a Halo-themed novel. Instead, I’m going to write a memoir. The idea so far is ten or so short-ish stories from my life, from the sad and heart-wrenching to the hysterical. I’ll still be using the same title, frankly, because I can’t think of another; so hopefully it’ll turn out nicely. Mr. Augusten Burroughs has inspired me quite a lot lately.

Here’s to hoping!

If you’d like, you can read the first chapter of it here. Just download the .PDF and there you go. You may need Acrobat Reader, which you can find here.

creative design changes underway.

I apologize for my blog looking bland and disheveled; my friend is helping me renovate this shit. He’s making me a custom header for it, and then I’ll probably tweak a few things elsewhere.

Stay tuned.

Oh, what a wonderful life.

My fucking Xbox broke. It doesn’t output video at all now. So, I guess I’ll be Xbox-less while it’s in for a repair. Although, all hope is not lost. I’ve begun working on a novel I put off a while back, based on Halo. I know, it’s geeky. But it’ll turn out well, I hope. It’s called Alexandria Before the Fire, and it follows a remaining Spartan III, Carter Lawrence, who discovers something in the Zeta Doradus system that could very well lend itself to a new war.

Hopefully some people will want to read it when it’s done.

:]

Step over the dead, remember what you said

I’m still worried about my hand. I took my splint/cast off myself, still can’t make a full fist. But, I bent my fingers a little further today so there’s still hope. Worst case scenario is I’ll have to have it re-broken and set with pins. That’d really teach me a lesson about all this.

I’ve been playing a lot of COD4 lately. I managed to get its hardest achievement, “Mile High Club”, which could arguably be considered one of the hardest on the 360, myself, after around 30 tries or so in all. Its multiplayer has been captivating me as well, and I’ve gotten a lot better at it lately. I don’t know why. There’s just something so gratifiyng about hosing a guy down with a silenced MP5 or P90 with the Double Tap perk as you round a corner while running the Dead Silence perk, or sniping someone in the face with the Barret .50 cal. Even using an ACOG-equipped M4A01 carbine is rewarding. Halo can’t give me that satisfaction, but I still love it and hate it.

That’s really all I have to say today. I’ll post again tomorrow, my hand is stiffening up.